Monday, 25 April 2011

Twenty Reasons Why My Notebook is Very Messy

Sue Hardy-Dawson

Because I sometimes write in the dark or whilst staring out the window.
Because sometimes I accidentally doodle when I’m thinking.
Because my pen is possessed by the evil splodge monster.
Because a piece of cheese is not a rubber.
Because trains are wobbly.
Because I need to find another word for because and the thesaurus knocks my tea over onto the cat, who then jumps on my notebook.
Since…as…for the reason that… Because there aren’t many words for because apparently; and anyway I had to cross most of them out because I didn’t like them.
Because I've been drawing with black charcoal and suddenly had an idea and the paper is now the same colour as my nose.
Because my puppy tried to eat it after digging a small hole in the lawn with his nose and stealing spaghetti from the bin.
Because my notebook decided to take up tight-rope walking in my absence and fell in the bath (my son told me this so it must be true).
Because I couldn’t find a beautiful and poetic rhyme for orang-utan.
Because my spell checker is sulking and turns itself off and then tells me lies!
Because my ice-lolly melted whilst I was studying a cloud.
Because I had a really funny thought as I took a sip from a full glass of blackcurrant juice.
Because my brain went to bed and left my body in charge of a pen.
Because I had to remove the cover after slipping whilst writing in a field full of cows and their strange brown footprints.
Because my sun lotion leaks and someone just belly-flopped into the swimming pool.
Because life moults and I attract all the bits.
Because the lady next door was cutting her hedge so I wrote the same word forty-two times.
Because it’s difficult to write whilst being carried through the treetops by a dragon. (OK, so I made that one up. But it’s probably true and I have such a vivid imagination the effect is probably the same.)


  1. You could have used 'cos but that's a kind of crunchy lettuce.

  2. " moults and I attract all the bits"!!! LOL. Now, about those strange brown footprints ... there's something you need to know. But I can't be the one to tell you!

  3. My notebook is very messy, as my handwriting is very messy, and I use a notebook that is divided into sections with a different colour down the side, and each time I start on a different colour, and then forget which colour I've used for a particular subject and also, forget I've started writing a poem at all. And start a different one. And the main problem with having messy handwriting is that when I start a poem and forget, and then find it a week later - I can't read what I've written.

    Actually, if I have lunch and go back to what I've written I can't read it...

  4. W P I think lettuce might make my note book healthy but greenish and slimy so maybe not

    Anon I wondered if cow's feet melt if they get too hot, if so they definately require heat proof socks. I may have to knit some.

    Liz you are lovely even your mess is organised, I use different coloured pens because I keep loosing them and I can't read what I've written because my lunch often escapes into my note book x