The Other Wayne Rooney

by Jan Dean


Think of a famous person – alive now, or someone from history.
Hmm… shall I choose Julius Caesar or Wayne Rooney? What about Cleopatra, Boudicca, or maybe Lady Gaga…?
Let's choose Wayne Rooney.
Now think about why Rooney is famous. What great things has he done? What do you imagine his life to be like? Think about the differences between your life and Rooney’s life. Write some of them down.

The Other Wayne Rooney
I cannot run for 90 minutes
can’t weave through the opposition
like a needle through cloth
when I kick a ball
it doesn’t cannon
into any net
may hit the target
may not
I don’t have any fans
my Mum likes me
does that count?
I don’t think my brothers too keen
can’t dribble
can’t head
can’t mark or tackle
I am the other Wayne Rooney
the one who fed fish fingers
to the penguins in the zoo

Hmmm. .. Not sure about the last two lines. It might be better to end with ‘I am the other Wayne Rooney’. What do you think?
I quite like this ‘other’ idea. If I write one about someone from history I might have to do a bit of research to find stuff out about them to use in the poem.

Do you know anyone with the same name as you? Are you one of 5 Jacks in your class, or one of 3 Jessicas down your street? Why not write a poem about which one you are?
…I am not the Jack who threw the brick
or the one who can wiggle his ears.
I am the Jack with the small black cat…

Or I might invent a person – or several people:
I am the other Frank Mulligan.
I did not eat a motor bike,
or wrestle an alligator.
I am the Frank who trained for years
To be a gladiator.

See - there’s no need for the ‘other one’ to always be less interesting.
I am not the Evie White who goes to Blackdown Primary School
I am the famous Evie White who synchros in the swimming pool.
I am amazing Evie White, Olympic Champion. Supercool.

Have a go. You could write a rhyming poem like the one above, or a non-rhymer like the Rooney poem. And you might share the results here.
Enjoy.