Writing in the Bath

Following the notebook theme – we were sent this by ace poet John Foster. (Watch out for a review of his fantastic new book of poems coming soon.)

If writing in the dark is difficult, how about writing in the bath? The paper gets wet and soggy and soapy and the water turns blue where the ink leaks into it. And everyone in the family complains about the blue stains that won’t wash off.

Actually, the bath is where you can have a good think, until someone starts banging on the door because they are desperate for the loo! You can let your mind wander into places like The Land of the Flibbertigibbets. By the way that’s the title of my latest book of poems. It’s published by Salt publishers. Here’s one of my favourite poems from it:

A Cheeky Boy called Robert Rung

A cheeky boy called Robert Rung

Was always sticking out his tongue

At everybody that he saw

Passing by the village store.

Till one day he went too far.

A driver, leaping from his car,

Shouted out, ‘You little toad!’

And chased Robert down the road

Into a farmyard nearby,

Where Robert slipped and, with a cry,

Fell headlong in a steaming pile

Of manure, squelchy and vile,

So that cheeky Robert Rung

Was covered, head to foot in dung.

Which is why when you are young

You never should stick out your tongue.

So Robert Rung needed a good bath. Served him right for behaving like that!

Anyway, why not take a notebook into the bathroom with you. You never know - the bath may be the place where you get your most brilliant idea. But you might want to put the notebook in a waterproof folder. I dropped mine in the bath once and you don’t want your ideas floating off down the drain as mine did.

John Foster